K-57

Today is the Tomorrow I was worried about Yesterday

I could not go back to sleep this morning without completing this message. I am beginning to feel compelled and/or obligated to post a message here every day. Yet, I do not like to write. I find it difficult and painful as I can never find the right words to explain myself, my thoughts or the current topic (whatever that topic might be). I want this blog to show who I am but the more time I spend trying to explain myself the more I realize how difficult that can be. Who I am is not who I think I am and even if I could explain who I think I am right now I would change and be something different.
I posted a political message yesterday and I hate talking politics (of ANY kind). To post that was a change for me. Still, I felt it was a lame post and wanted today's post to be better. So I spent over an hour (yesterday) searching the web for something to post about today. I took the holistic approach borrowed from a random bloger and started hitting the "Next Blog" button. I would look for inspiration and then try the next blog. I found new blogs and old blogs but I didn't try to translate. I even found one of the NaNoBlogMo blogs. I have too much work to do to write a book though. Some work things are slipping too. (I missed a PC board meeting and an important phone call last night) This blog is one of the last things I should be thinking about. I should be out there finishing that new project, signing up those names, preparing those reports, cleaning my bike, getting ready for the convention this weekend or any number of other things. Why am I so worried about posting that I would spend do much time looking for a topic? Sure, I find inspiration. I find amazing things looking through other blogs and I feel like I want to do that too. I want to define and focus my blog to create something people can read, share and comment on. Finding the actual topic is much harder. Explaining it is even harder.
Why is that?

(time to write, edit and publish: 1 hour and 4 minutes)

posted by Kev @ 11/05/2004 05:47:00 AM